Guardian Angel
by Nekocin
Summary: AU one shot, slight 3x4 A oneshot fic while being Trowa for a bit. I think the title says it all.


Disclaimers:   
  
None of the characters here belongs to me. Only the story. It's mine. I didn't copy from anyone's fic!!!  
  
Guardian angel  
  
Author: Nekocin  
  
Email: animecrush@sr.net  
  
Type: One-shot  
  
Genres: General  
  
Pairing[s]: depends on how you see it.   
  
Warnings: messed up time-lines.  
  
Author's notes:   
  
Okay okay... this was supposed to be a dramatic one or just plain Trowa angst with some song-fic :P I'll not spoil anyone about my other ideas. But I just thought why not write just a plain normal one-shot fic after reading a very very good shounen-ai fic "Angelic Gamble" by Snow Tigra! I guess this one is dedicated to her/him, huh? Even though s/he didn't ask for it ::shrugs:: but I adore most of her/his fics [1] even thought it's not quite 3+4 centric as mine ^_^'. And uh... I've messed a little with the time-line.   
  
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As I closed my eyes, I can still remember the time when I was held in my mother's arms. I don't know how, because it was really rare that a baby could remember something... maybe back then I was still around 2 or 3. I don't know. I wasn't quite aware of my age though, but Catherine, my sister, might just know what happened back then before I was swept away from mother's arms. I could vaguely remember the time when I saw a different face that time... that time when mother held me. I smiled when I remembered the new face. Although the image was fading away from my memory. It was like someone who'd always stood by my side. Someone who was there just to protect me... and of course this sounds absurd. I can't believe I believe that stuff again, I thought to myself and ran my fingers through my bangs. The weirdest bangs ever, you might say, but I'm quite proud of it how it is. It covered half my face! I'm actually quite proud of how it was covering my face, hiding one of my visible eyes.   
  
It was just right after school when all the memories came rushing back. The feathers! I frowned as I scanned the schoolyard. I was still at school. Someone slapped me across my back. "Hey, Tro! What are you looking for? Or is it who?" the person grinned. His violet eyes were dancing with amusement and I stared blankly at him. What is he talking about? He pouted when he got no answer from me. "Why are you being so stuffy, Tro? School is over. Anything interesting to do?" He wiggled his eyebrows as he crossed his arms over his chest. He's one of my friends I hardly had: Duo Maxwell. He wears his hair in a thick braid and can easily be mistaken for a girl. But don't tell him I told you that, he would eventually reveal his true self. He's like a killer when he's quite angry. He can get those dark glows in his eyes when he's quite serious and take out a deathscythe from who-knows-where he's hiding it.   
  
"You're no fun" Duo pouted and decidedly put a quick grin on his face. "But Shinigami will eventually find out what you're looking for! Or who in this case!" He exclaimed and winked. I shook my head when he ran to the gate. Figures. He must be hiding from Heero --- another friend of mine. It is like a routine actually. Heero and Duo weren't quite on their best terms when they've first met. I was lucky enough to be both their friends I guess... okay, back to Duo. He must have done something very bad to Heero or was it the other way around... I shrugged, it's not my place to know whether they're enemies or not in that ground.   
  
As I walked out of the schoolyard, I noticed one boy standing against the wall with a book in front of his face. He must be waiting for the bus I guess. He'd his pair glasses on and didn't let any of those girls, who were practically swarming around him, lose his concentration on the book. I doubt he'll keep that patience of him inside... "Leave me alone!" the boy snapped and went to a different wall to lean against. The girls scrambled away from the boy and were getting a little weepy. Oh, please. I rolled my eyes. Like I said, he can't bottle his patience up like a vacuum cleaner. "Hey!" I said to him and stood next to him, leaning against the wall too. He acknowledged me for a while and took a deep breath. "Hey, Barton... I swear if you were an onna I could have kicked you away..." I stared blankly in front of me; ignoring his comment as he went on reading that book of his, whatever it is it, must be very interesting.   
  
I stared across the street and noticed someone had just jumped away to hide. I frowned and wondered if it was another one of Wufei's fan girls or just someone else's. I looked around the pavement and was quite surprised that everyone had already left except for Wufei and me. "Well, I see you tomorrow, Barton. My ride has come..." Wufei said and closed his book. "See you tomorrow..." I said softly and he pushed himself off the wall with a lot of gracefulness. I glanced at his retreating figure. Wufei was walking slowly and gracefully. I arched an eyebrow, why hadn't I noticed that? In all my years I haven't really noticed how graceful Wufei can be. Well, I know he is quite nice if he trusts you, but was never really that gentle... or graceful. He was always harsh, like a few minutes ago... he'd yelled at the girls to leave him alone.   
  
I shook my head... so it's now my head and me, huh? I frowned when I saw something or rather someone had just jumped away to hide. I wonder why. I looked at my watch and shouldered my bag back up. Catherine must be busy with work... maybe I should walk back home then. I could eventually think back about that time... I shrugged and walked to my right. As I watched my feet, I thought about the time when I saw the small vague face. I could only make out that he must be cute. Why a he, I don't know. I just sense the person is a he. The small face smiled at me when I was lying in my bed and disappeared as soon as Catherine had entered the room with a baby bottle. I saw some feathers drifting away when he disappeared and Catherine would often frowned at the feathers. "What's this?" she said and I just stared blankly at the feathers. I'd definitely no idea what they were back then, but I like them. I remembered grabbing them tightly in my small fists and slept with it under my pillows. I don't know why it was so fascinated, but I was sure I was very curious back then.   
  
I frowned when I noticed I was at the park. The children were screaming and yelling with glee. They were playing around at the park, while some teenagers were having a group reunion or something like that. I might never know. I've always been in myself for a long time before I met Heero or Duo or Wufei. Neither of those three tried to open me up, not even Duo... he has his own reasons I guess.   
  
I shrugged again and walked through the park. The wind was gently brushing past me and I remembered playing here in this very same park too with someone. Someone I'd hardly seen for a long time. He was just as old as I was and has these beautiful blue/green eyes. I could never tell if they were blue or if they were green. They sometimes changed colors when you just look in them. Must be the sunrays again. Now that I've mentioned him, I've never really caught his name. We were friends back then...  
  
I've just seen him in a few days and after awhile he disappeared as if he had never existed. I think that's why I've never really remembered a lot about him now, which made me a little uneasy. I sure miss the old times when I was still just a kid, although no one can stay young forever. Then it hit me... why am I feeling uneasy now? I felt as if someone was following me. I turned around, but no one was behind me. Only some running kids playing around in their group circles. I frowned when I didn't find anyone suspicious-looking and went to a bench to think again.   
  
I'm getting too many weird experiences I guess.   
  
Once I've tried to kill myself after being so depressed the whole week... my friends had tried to stop me, my parents didn't even know about that... not even Catherine. I never really bothered telling them why though, but I guess after all those years I've to think about why I wanted to kill myself. I was trying to jump down from a mountain when the school was having a school trip. My friends yelled and screamed at me, but neither could give me a good reason why I should not. As soon as I had jumped my friends started crying out for help and the teachers. I've closed my eyes and let the wind brush its way through my light body. It felt like a hole in my stomach all the sudden and smiled weakly when I felt gravity jumping in.   
  
The last thing which caught my attention were feathers... After that... I was quite confused when I saw everyone around me. They began asking me if I was okay and if I was fine or what had happened. My friends were looking stunned, even I was stunned. Why wasn't I dead? The teacher had tears in her eyes and smiled "You're lucky, Trowa..." She gave me a hug. "You've a guardian angel by your side..." I couldn't believe what she was telling me. An angel? Since when did I have one? I frowned when I felt something in my hand. I opened my hand and a feather was visible. Sure this might have explained it too, but still... I still can't believe that was happening... How I got depressed was beyond me, now. Maybe because I felt too lonely or something... I've no idea why.   
  
From the corners of my eyes I could see someone in the tree; something white and familiar had just disappeared from behind the tree. I stared cautiously at the tree and shouldered my schoolbag again. There was something or rather someone following me and I just felt it. Why is he or she hiding anyways? I stared blankly when I found no one was up in the tree. I circled around the tree, trying to find if she or he had climbed to another side or something. After a time of circling I felt myself getting dizzy. All that circling around makes my head twirl and people might look at me strangely and wondering why I was walking around the tree. They might think I'm a Muslim [which I'm not] or something like that, walking around something 'very precious'. Only I wasn't walking around the black stone... instead I was walking around the tree. Absurd! They might think.   
  
I guess they're right if they might think I was crazy. Heck! I don't know why I'm acting weird lately. I'm getting very very lonely nowadays even though I've my friends. Really. I'm getting lonely and yet... I don't feel that lonely because I've always felt this presence was near me and that assured me that I wasn't alone. I sighed. Shouldn't I be going home now? I asked myself and ran my fingers through my bangs. I took one last look at the tree and shrugged. Yes... even though I feel alone, no one is near me... I just felt I was getting closer to someone. Someone I might not have seen in a long time. I smiled reassuringly to myself and walked off towards the street, which was filled with a lot of students rushing back home and also the traffic. Maybe some day I'll get to meet that person who was hiding from me... who had always kept me safe and who has always been by my side without knowing it.   
  
*.*.*.*.*  
  
I've been following you my whole life and still you haven't figured it out! I chuckled to myself when I looked at your retreating form from the tree branch. I was just sitting right here and you couldn't see me? Or did I just refuse to let you see me? I don't know.   
  
I see you're quite in your thoughts. I wonder what you're thinking about. Is it about the past? About our childhood? As I can clearly remember you were so lonely back then that I've decided to be your friend in true from. Although I was much too young to hold on to that form, I'd to 'disappear' from your eyes. I smiled weakly and looked down at my lap.   
  
How couldn't you notice me? After all I see that my feathers were giving hints to everyone here... everyone knows that I'm always where you are. Now that I think about it. I've to be by your side! I quickly took off in search for him. You were walking blankly again as I smiled down at you. The smile you might never see... that hurts actually. But I don't bother... as long as you're by my side. I walked a little behind you and I just felt warm and happy that you're not so suicidal again.   
  
I wonder why you're dismissing the fact that I'm real? I've giving you enough hints and everyone seemed to have figured it out shortly, even your friends. And yet, you don't believe in me... which makes me sad. Can't you see I was all this time with you? By your side? I guess it is meant to be like this then. I looked as you stepped firmly on the ground. I'm quite curious what you're thinking right now. It's been like this the whole time after I've saved you from your fall. Were you still figuring things out? It must have been quite a shock. I smiled at that. It really made me feel much better when I think back at that time. That time I was really really protecting you... I was near you, by your side and watch you close yourself in loneliness. It hurts when you're also hurt... I just felt like wanting to hug you for a long time before you'll do something stupid. But I guess I was just too young to shift into a real human body and touch you.   
  
And as the night comes, I would always watch over you. Watching you sleep soundlessly in your bed makes me feel needed al the time. But I'm glad that I'm your guardian angel. I wouldn't have learned a lot from your upbringing anyways, like the way humans get those fuzzy feelings and stuff like that. I chuckled when I thought about it and looked at the clock. It was nearly past midnight. I moved from the chair on which I was sitting all the while you were doing your homework and motioned forward to your sleeping face. "Good night, Trowa" I whispered and gave you a small kiss on the forehead. I froze when you stirred a little, but didn't open your eyes. I felt relieved and smiled at your sleeping figure. Even though you can't see my smiles for you I still have to come out one day and explain everything to you why I did that. It would sound a little weird, but after learning a lot from you and your friends... I felt like I'm longing for your warmth. I'm longing for your embrace and I'm longing for you. But I'm still your guardian and that's all I tend to stay.  
  
. . . OWARI . . .   
  
Author's notes:   
  
1: Please forgive me, Snow Tigra. I really don't know your gender ::bows head:: so I'm just putting them there. I really really love the way you write your stories/fanfics. So this is not something like some plagiarism... it's kinda dedicated to you if you're reading this.  
  
::sweatdrop:: This whole thing is twisted all the way around -_-'. Don't you think it's kinda OOC? And uh... I'm not responsible for what you believe or what you do not believe. Don't go on to the suicidal stuff because I've mentioned it here. So what do you think? Was it depressing or was it just plain normal? 


End file.
